24 hours and 3 unsolicited encounters with selfish opportunism and human kindness have broken and rebuilt my fragile sense of security. My tears mark both. Continue reading Fragility -A day in the life of humanity
Sticky post
I love your courage
In the face of your difference
Though I see your pain in solitude.
I wish it could be easier for you
Continue reading 18 Summers
Sticky post
When she awoke to the truth, Fay was thirty-one
Browbeaten, confused and a mum
Despite a decade of devaluation
She kept schtum for fear of humiliation
And crawled into a private pit of ‘make-do’. Continue reading Fay’s Story
I am a self proclaimed Sex And The City FAN with a capital everything and proud of it. I once opted out of Christmas just to plug in to my box-set in heavenly peace. What a blissful day that was. I danced around the flat in my pjs every time the intro played. I cried tears of joy and laughed my little socks off all day. My only concern … Continue reading Congratulations Evelien!
Bloodsucker. Inhaling the energy from my core, Diverting my focus to your war, Against honesty and care. Fuck your rancid morals. Lie alone in your self-serving lair. But you won’t, will you…. Unmasked, but not startled, Prince charming will simply resurrect, Cast his ravenous eye to the next page, Waltz his chosen victim into the golden cage, Liposuction her very persona, Entrap her with mirrored desires. Its bile. Parasite. … Continue reading Narcissus
What is it that makes you cling on, when every hair on the back of your neck is standing up screaming at you to RUN? Or is it, rather, that you just cannot, ever, walk away without: a) knowing everything that there is to know about why you’re ‘losing’ and; b) some community / public recognition of your ‘wronged’ status, following you as you exit left ? Focussing squarely on emotional attachment as experienced … Continue reading “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” George Bernard Shaw
We’re on a roll We’re on a high Re-laying the foundations of this fragile unity Lie upon sunshine fuelled lie. Delicious fried niblets Rosé on tap En-sconsed in the moment Content in the trap. We lie aside each other, blissful Amid the lamentable crowd Of pimps and their charges Barely disguised and proud. The door is not open Its not even ajar But the mesmerising, twinkly ocean Shifts all doubt to obscurity … Continue reading Disjointed Love
The world is askew, said he Tis you that ain’t true, said me Let me wallow, he berated In the lies I have created Follow blindly behind me Allow me to deceive you kindly Gently caress your needy soul Destroy you from the inside Charm you into the black hole Le vide One plus one equals three, said he I’m so sorry, I can’t see, … Continue reading Authenticity
Does it matter that I pretended not to see? Though I saw Haven’t the strength to save the world every day What about me? But my gracious right eye wandered I saw Have to focus on my own woes Keep my bogey man at bay` Does it matter that he saw me look away? Continue reading Me Me ME
A lovely (and concerned) friend messaged me recently: “Are you ok? Some quite black life is a shit sandwich being posted ….not that it isn’t a shit sandwich of course. Nor that there is much I can do about it if you aren’t ok..Except send love. Which I do. Anyway”. Thing is, having (ever so) slowly sheded the chains of crippling self-consciousness and truly accepted that those who know and … Continue reading Last exit to Bedlam
I was in the middle of researching my ‘five sure signs you’re dating a Sociopath’ blog when my daughter rang from France. I haven’t heard from her for a week. Packed her off with phone (and masses of credit), charger, iPad & charger, spare chargers and forced her to memorise all my telephone numbers and email addresses. That was last Saturday. Since then, I’ve heard nothing. Her wonderful … Continue reading Endless Love
Whilst lounging about pretending to get stuff ready for my Belgian National Day party tomorrow, I just happened to turn live TV on my tablet. I’d intended to half-watch something relaxing whilst vacuuming. But I wasn’t altogether disappointed that the channel was already set to ITV.be – who did that? The shit-bag hoover was winding me up anyway. I bought the cheapest one available from my local supermarket recently … Continue reading Millionaire Malarkey
Genuine question(s): Do you recognise the difference between discussion and argument (I’m not talking about the merits of either here)?; Are you able to hold a discussion without it descending into argument?; Do you enjoy transforming discussion into argument, just to get a reaction and perhaps irrespective of your actual views on the topic? I believe that the essence of discussion is a dialogue between two parties to … Continue reading Peaceful Conviction
Back to work tomorrow after two weeks leave. With my rose-tinted, glass half-full head on, I’ve achieved much and enjoyed being a stay-home mum. Meanwhile, in the real world, I’m trying to distract myself from everything that feels like its gone horribly wrong by staring at this cauliflower I bought. Wondering what amazing cauliflower dish I could impress my boys with. I’ve got no further than cauliflower cheese by … Continue reading Cauliflower Crisis
The bank said yes. I was a quarter hoping they’d say no. My selfish quarter. The bit of me who’d like the weight of all this to be removed by a faceless third party. The other three quarters of me are very grateful that we can now start to make plans as a family. Get behind number one and help him to rise to this new challenge and … Continue reading Siblings without rivalry
I have two boymen (‘BM’). I can’t show you any pictures of them, because they won’t let me take any. But they’re gorgeous. Not that they think they are. Sure they’re lazy and totally uninterested in homework and housework. But they are tall and slim and handsome. They are bright and charming. Much more importantly, they are tolerant and sensitive and kind. But they truly believe … Continue reading Boys & Men
Week two off work and I have achieved the following: 1. Gone through (actually looked at and skim read in most cases) three years worth of papers (predominantly bills…). Those to keep are now in one huge file, divided into sections and waiting to be properly sorted into date order etc. This is massive progress for me, though it may not appear so to you, dear organised reader. I am … Continue reading Ying & Yang
Twenty years ago, poor and a bit lonely, I moved into a studio flat above Ruby’s nails. It was a tiny little abode. Just a room really, with a kitchen the size of a toilet and a bath that you could only sit in and even then, the water would just about cover my knees. You could reach the toaster from the loo and watch tv from anywhere. I loved it! Continue reading Ruby awakening
It should have been a relatively simple task: 1. Meticulous preparation of paperwork in advance; 2. Get everyone to sleep last night in time to wake up this morning in time to get to the Brussels commune before their limited service hours (not the same as their opening hours, as they tend to refuse entry at least thirty minutes ahead of official closure) end; 3. Successfully transport all … Continue reading Relativity
Only those of us Brits living a train, plane or boat ride away from M&S can possibly understand the irrational joy that I (and many others) experienced earlier this year, when the store re-opened its flagship Brussels doors after ten years in scone-less exile. In a matter of weeks following the May opening, I: a) became addicted to cottage cheese (weird I know); b) managed to convince myself its ok to … Continue reading Lentil Lament
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