Bloodsucker. Inhaling the energy from my core, Diverting my focus to your war, Against honesty and care. Fuck your rancid morals. Lie alone in your self-serving lair. But you won’t, will you…. Unmasked, but not startled, Prince charming will simply resurrect, Cast his ravenous eye to the next page, Waltz his chosen victim into the golden cage, Liposuction her very persona, Entrap her with mirrored desires. Its bile. Parasite. … Continue reading Narcissus

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” George Bernard Shaw

What is it that makes you cling on, when every hair on the back of your neck is standing up screaming at you to RUN? Or is it, rather, that you just cannot, ever, walk away without: a) knowing everything that there is to know about why you’re ‘losing’ and; b) some community / public recognition of your ‘wronged’ status, following you as you exit left ? Focussing squarely on emotional attachment as experienced … Continue reading “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” George Bernard Shaw

Disjointed Love

We’re on a roll We’re on a high Re-laying the foundations of this fragile unity Lie upon sunshine fuelled lie. Delicious fried niblets Rosé on tap En-sconsed in the moment Content in the trap. We lie aside each other, blissful Amid the lamentable crowd Of pimps and their charges Barely disguised and proud. The door is not open Its not even ajar But the mesmerising, twinkly ocean Shifts all doubt to obscurity … Continue reading Disjointed Love

Last exit to Bedlam

A lovely (and concerned) friend messaged me recently: “Are you ok? Some quite black life is a shit sandwich being posted ….not that it isn’t a shit sandwich of course. Nor that there is much I can do about it if you aren’t ok..Except send love. Which I do. Anyway”. Thing is, having (ever so) slowly sheded the chains of crippling self-consciousness and truly accepted that those who know and … Continue reading Last exit to Bedlam

Endless Love

I was in the middle of researching my ‘five sure signs you’re dating a Sociopath’ blog when my daughter rang from France. I haven’t heard from her for a week. Packed her off with phone (and masses of credit), charger, iPad & charger, spare chargers and forced her to memorise all my telephone numbers and email addresses. That was last Saturday. Since then, I’ve heard nothing. Her wonderful … Continue reading Endless Love

Millionaire Malarkey

Whilst lounging about pretending to get stuff ready for my Belgian National Day party tomorrow, I just happened to turn live TV on my tablet. I’d intended to half-watch something relaxing whilst vacuuming. But I wasn’t altogether disappointed that the channel was already set to – who did that? The shit-bag hoover was winding me up anyway. I bought the cheapest one available from my local supermarket recently … Continue reading Millionaire Malarkey

Peaceful Conviction

Genuine question(s): Do you recognise the difference between discussion and argument (I’m not talking about the merits of either here)?; Are you able to hold a discussion without it descending into argument?; Do you enjoy transforming discussion into argument, just to get a reaction and perhaps irrespective of your actual views on the topic? I believe that the essence of discussion is a dialogue between two parties to … Continue reading Peaceful Conviction

Cauliflower Crisis

Back to work tomorrow after two weeks leave. With my rose-tinted, glass half-full head on, I’ve achieved much and enjoyed being a stay-home mum. Meanwhile, in the real world, I’m trying to distract myself from everything that feels like its gone horribly wrong by staring at this cauliflower I bought. Wondering what amazing cauliflower dish I could impress my boys with. I’ve got no further than cauliflower cheese by … Continue reading Cauliflower Crisis

Boys & Men

I have two boymen (‘BM’). I can’t show you any pictures of them, because they won’t let me take any. But they’re gorgeous. Not that they think they are. Sure they’re lazy and totally uninterested in homework and housework. But they are tall and slim and handsome. They are bright and charming. Much more importantly, they are tolerant and sensitive and kind. But they truly believe … Continue reading Boys & Men

Ying & Yang

Week two off work and I have achieved the following: 1. Gone through (actually looked at and skim read in most cases) three years worth of papers (predominantly bills…). Those to keep are now in one huge file, divided into sections and waiting to be properly sorted into date order etc. This is massive progress for me, though it may not appear so to you, dear organised reader. I am … Continue reading Ying & Yang


It should have been a relatively simple task: 1. Meticulous preparation of paperwork in advance; 2. Get everyone to sleep last night in time to wake up this morning in time to get to the Brussels commune before their limited service hours (not the same as their opening hours, as they tend to refuse entry at least thirty minutes ahead of official closure) end; 3. Successfully transport all … Continue reading Relativity

Lentil Lament

Only those of us Brits living a train, plane or boat ride away from M&S can possibly understand the irrational joy that I (and many others) experienced earlier this year, when the store re-opened its flagship Brussels doors after ten years in scone-less exile. In a matter of weeks following the May opening, I: a) became addicted to cottage cheese (weird I know); b) managed to convince myself its ok to … Continue reading Lentil Lament