If i had been chosen

I wonder where I would now be?

If I had been chosen

Would this still be me?

You left me, unchosen

The problem, for all to see.

Too numb to fight you

Instead I fought free.

I left without challenge

and the label followed me.

Through studies

Through travels

Through marriage

and children

Through successes

Through struggles

Through celebrations

and all those muddles.

The bête noir I remained

Free, but unchosen all the same.

For decades

4 decades

Treading water

In that murky sea.

Never good enough

Never successful enough.

Never pretty enough.

or funny enough

Not confident enough

Just not enough.

Until this day

Aujourd’hui

I can finally see

That nothing can flourish

Until I choose me.